-We have been in major clean-out mode over the past few days. Our house is 1100 sq feet, which is plenty of room for a family of 4, but NOT if our house is filled with things that we don't use or need (*cough* Justin's catcher's gear from middle school *cough*). Anyway, as we're shuffling things around trying to make space for baby, we're both finally coming to the conclusion that we HAVE to get rid of things in order to make this work. Justin usually has a harder time parting with things than I do, but he rocked it out, and between the two of us, I think I have four garbage bags in the back of my car to take to Goodwill...four bags just from our bedroom!
-This is both awesome and frustrating for me. Awesome because it totally helps make progress towards everything we own actually having a PLACE. Frustrating because in the meantime it means that the living room, kitchen, and everywhere else have essentially become staging areas...and I don't do well with visual clutter. Almost every night I have a 'please God don't let my water break tonight' freakout.
-I've been having a few freakouts in general lately...on Saturday night, as I was standing in the baby room putting clothes away, I could just feel this wave of anxiety washing over me. There wasn't even one particular thing I was anxious about...it went something like this:
Oh my God I'll be full term this week which means Icould have a baby any time and what if Justin is working and I have to drive myself to the hospital and what if I don't get to the hospital in time and what if something happens during delivery and the baby dies and then what would we do and how would we tell Lizzy and I can't imagine having to come into this room again if that happened...or what if something happened and I died because then what and who would take care of Lizzy while Justin works and does Justin know how to cook all the family recipes that I hope our kids learn some day and should I write an in case I die letter and WHAT IF OUR HOUSE CATCHES ON FIRE WHILE I'M SLEEPING?!
(devoid of all punctuation because that's how it happens in my mind).
I'm sure hormones are playing a big part in this, but it's a little annoying nonetheless.
-I think Lizzy and I need to head to Target. Justin worked overnight last night doing plumbing stuff at Starbucks that couldn't be done during the day while they're open. So now he's jome trying to sleep, and Lizzy just does not get the concept of having to be quiet during the day.
-Speaking of Lizzy, she has recently become totally enamored witb Zaccheus. Yes, like Biblical Zaccheus. I have no idea where this fascination cones from, but she wants to talk about him and read about him all the time. It cracks me up.
-Our living room has no overhead light...only a floor lamp. On rainy days like today? It's iinda dreary.
-I have an OB appointment this afternoon. Trying not to get my hopes up for more dilation progress...but I'm afraid they already are...even though I know it means nothing.