Yesterday, while I was elbow deep in dishwater, Lizzy unlocked the front door and ran outside, despite my cries of "Lizzy! NO! YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"
A few hours later, the wind kicked up into high gear, and I dashed outside barefoot to grab a ball that we'd left outside before it blew away. Lizzy locked me out of the house, and would not come unlock the front door no matter how much I screamed. For some reason, Justin had also taken the garage door opener out of my car and not returned it. So, me and my bare feet were left outside...where it had now started raining...and I had the distinct privilege of trying to navigate the mud pit that is currently our backyard barefooted and in the rain.
I got inside, did the whole timeout thing, talked about how the DOOR IS NOW OFF LIMITS for Lizzy, etc. Justin got home, and I did a little happy dance, because the entire day had basically been what was described in the above two paragraphs.
And then after dinner, Justin went outside to fix something on his truck. Within minutes, I had taken away a popsicle after 3 warnings that it had to be eaten at the table instead of while dancing around, apparently pretending it was a magical wand. In the last occasion before I took it away, Lizzy tip toed over, stuck only her big toe in the living room, and then laughed. Actually, Lizzy ended up taking away the popsicle from herself at that point, as before I could reach her to take it away, she'd thrown the thing on the floor. So much for the floors I'd just mopped earlier.
Once she'd calmed down from that fiasco, I told her that it had been awhile, and she needed to go sit on the toilet. With the amount of tears and drama that ensued, you'd think I'd have just told her that her cat died. Lizzy finally calmed down and said she'd sit on the toilet...she went to grab a book, and peed on the rug instead...and then laughed. I am 100% certain that she did it on purpose. And I about lost it. I didn't know whether to scream or cry.
Thank God for Justin, who came inside at this point during my mental-breakdown and promptly took over by getting her into a bath. And then last night, I had dreams about the biggest darn margarita you ever did see. And it was glorious.
Here's hoping today goes more smoothly...