Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Lizzy Bit Me.

That hurts Charlie! Heh.

In all seriousness though, a couple days ago, Lizzy bit me on purpose. Twice. She was yanking on my earring, even after many attempts to redirect her. So I calmly but firmly told her "No." Lizzy totally understands no, shakes her head no whenever I say it, and does NOT like being told no. Lizzy looked right at me, 'yelled' at me, and bit me on my arm. Hard. I told her "No" again, more sternly, and set her down on the floor and walked away. She crawled after me and bit my foot!

I am not kidding when I say that my child has a temper. How in the world did she learn the correlation between being mad and hurting the person that made you mad?!

Anyway, I know, I know...I wrote a post not that long ago about alternatives to saying no. But as one commenter eloquently pointed out, those techniques seem to work better once the kids get a little bit older. At 9 months, I'm not always sure how to approach the situation. In the above instance, I did a short "time out" in her crib, but I'm not even sure that the crib is the right place for that consequence...do I want her to associate the crib with 'punishment'?

So for all you out there...how do/did/would you handle a child of this age in terms of discipline? Any tips about biting would be especially appreciated!

13 comments:

  1. Easy solution: ground her. No mall, no movies and absolutely no friends over.

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  2. Oh how I hear you...my 11 month old has done the same thing with pinching. She pinched me, I told her no, so she (with a look that could kill) pinched me again. I put her in her crib for time out and a nap...and she got me back by scraping the finish off 6 spots on her crib with her teeth. But on a plus side, she hasn't pinched me since!

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  3. I asked our Pedi about this at Griffin's 9 month appointment. She told us to say, with a serious face, "OUCH, that hurt mama", then set him down and walk away (sounds like you did this). If he crawls after me that it is fine to pick him up and move on with things. If he does it again, repeat. She said it would break his heart and he will learn quickly. Good luck!

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  4. i think my son must be oober stubborn because i have done it ALL and he STILL bites. now he does it in a loving way [if possible] .. he will come over to the couch where i'm sitting, leave down and 'kiss' my leg (saying the muahhhh sound) and once he's done - give my leg a nice bite. how nice, huh?

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  5. Brayden did this for a little while, and I would always tell him no and say "that hurts mommy" or something along those lines. And my tone wasn't always firm, but in a "can you see how that makes me feel?" kind of way so that maybe when he is older, it will resonate more. I don't know if it worked because sometimes he does it, but he generally does move on to another activity. I'm sure it is just a phase, but it is so incredibly frustrating!

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  6. Oh my goodness!! I haven't encountered anything like this yet... I really like Brianna's advice and think I'll remember it!

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  7. I like Lisa's solution, lol.

    Brady does the same thing to me all the time. It's awfully bad now, he does it all the time. TO ME. So, i just keep up telling him, 'no, that hurts mommy. and redirect him. Im not sure what else to do that he'll understand so if you find a solution, let me know!!!

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  8. I have the same advice as others about saying ouch, but, with my daughter I always ouch over and over when she hurts herself.

    That way she associates ouch with pain or discomfort and knows what I mean when I say "ouch hurts mama"

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  9. See, this is where I think there's a disconnect between love and logic parenting (like what you talked about in your saying no post) and saying no - at least for my mind. I would say that even though Lizzy doesn't understand the actual words yet, she can understand intonation. But Love and Logic would say you would say - without getting mad or showing anger, "Uh oh, biting hurts mommy." and either remove the offensive object (I guess take out your earrings?) or put her in her crib until she calms down. But I can't imagine not saying no in this situation. We obviously haven't used any of this yet, but I've just started reading about it.

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  10. I'm not about the gentle reproach with my kids. I've always given them a super firm no, in a louder, sterner, voice. My son was the biter. He bit, I told him no, and then walked away from him. Wouldn't interact with him for a minute after he bit me. He learned very quickly that biting means no more playing. So he stopped. It's worked with all 3 of my kids.

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  11. And I should probably clarify that I don't mean yelling. Babies are sweet and wonderful, and I would never yell at my baby. But no is pretty basic, and I think they're never too young to learn it.

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  12. I'm with Lisa, grounding seems like the best option :)

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