Thursday, September 17, 2009

More Texts From Last Night

Do you guys ever read the Texts From Last Night website? Most of it is pretty raunchy and sad (and probably not work-safe), but sometimes, it is absolutely hilarious:

(443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

(314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

(920): in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish.

(403): I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

(480): You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone

(760): my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...

(773): I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

(716): holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
(1-716): How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'

(516): He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.

(345): so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
(574): well at least shes not calling you fat anymore

(978): im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
(1-978): this is your brother


Remember--today is the last day to Ask Justin Anything!


  1. Those are hilarious! I remember back in college, I was trying to drunkenly type on AOL and my friend responded with, "Alyssa, I don't read drunk."

    Yes, Kristal and I have known each other since 7th grade. I was in her wedding and she was my DOC for my wedding. I'm super excited to see her and her belly bump in a couple of weeks.

  2. I like number 403- it made me laugh. And so did some of the others- but I feel kinda bad for the people who wrote them- I can only imagine their mental states while typing those.

  3. The one that gets responded to with this is your brother...that is easily THE BEST. WOW!

  4. I love Texts from Last night! :) They are so funny!


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