For those of you in a relationship or married, what is the division of labor like in your relationship? Who pays the bills? Who keeps you on schedule or makes sure you haven't double booked yourselves? Who does the cooking? How about the cleaning?
Why does the division happen the way that it does (i.e. work, preference, etc)?And most importantly, are you happy with the balance?
This is an interesting question for us. We've had several tiffs over the last couple of days about this very topic. Basically, the short answer is that I do the majority of the tasks around the house, but Justin really does do quite a bit too. Justin cleans the bathrooms, handles the litter box, does his own laundry (and sometimes mine too), makes sure his cell phone bill is paid, and occasionally cooks dinner or does dishes.
Justin also works an INCREDIBLE number of hours each week--it isn't uncommon for him to work 12-14 hour days. And he's most often doing physical labor like hand-digging trenches all day. Also, because of the nature of his job, sometimes when a water pipe bursts at 4:45pm, he's going to end up working late at the last minute. So, depending on him to get the car payment to the bank before 5pm isn't always feasible. Especially when the above situation happens multiple days in a row. Yes, I am speaking from experience!
I work far fewer hours. I'm off each day at around 3:30, and unless I get stuck in court, I really AM off each day around 3:30. It makes sense that I should be the one doing the majority of the cooking...especially since I enjoy cooking. For me, it has a lot of the same feeling as working in the photography darkroom--mix this, that, and try to time it all so you have a beautiful and enjoyable result. Anyway....tangent!
I hate cleaning the house, but the honest truth is that that's something that matters to me, but doesn't matter to Justin. I walk in to our disaster of a house and think, "Oh my GOD the house is a pigsty!" Justin walks in to our disaster of a house and thinks, "Oh! There are those shoes I'm missing!" There's no judgment here...I think what I've just learned after being married a couple of years now is that Justin is more than willing to help me clean if I ask for help, but because having a spotless and organized house isn't all that important to him (he's a social creature and would much rather be playing baseball or meeting people for a movie), cleaning isn't something that he's self-prompted to do. And that's okay. He doesn't mind helping, it just doesn't often occur to him on his own.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the money side of things--I am overwhelmed in general by math and numbers, and I wish that we sat down more frequently and talked about money. I think we both have a good grasp on how much of it we have, but not always where it all went. For example, I might see a purchase of Justin's from the hardware store, but have no idea what it was that he actually purchased. He might see a purchase from Target and assume that I'm buying shoes (which IS a fair conclusion), when really it's 409 Cleaner, toothbrushes, and Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. Especially since we're trying to live pretty darn frugally right now, I think it would be good for us to have a more open dialogue about not only where the money was spent, but what it was spent on, and WHY it was needed.
So again, what does the division of labor look like in your house?