Thursday, June 25, 2009

How to be supportive, when you don't like the situation.

So, the other person in J's position at work has apparently found another job. This is both good, as there will be more work for J, and bad, as most of that work is currently out of state.

One of the blessings about J's employer is that they really try to send the young, unmarried guys with no kids out of state first. I really, really appreciate this. Consequently, they've been sending the other person to do the out of state work quite frequently. It works out well for everyone--he gets a sweet per diem, gets a lot of overtime, and he had quite a few friends from college in that area that he'd hang with over the weekends.

Now, it may have to be Justin that goes up--which would be great for us financially, but tough on me and on our marriage, especially since J will be working nights (Likely 3pm-3am), I'll be working days, and so we won't really even be able to talk while he's gone. And we only have one computer, so it isn't even like we could email each other.

J is supposed to be leaving over the weekend of the 4th to go up there, and I am dreading it, especially since my next doctor's appointment is on the 6th, and I would really, really like him to be there with me for that one. I don't want to pray that he doesn't go, because it really would be a great opportunity for us to "get ahead" financially, but at the same time, I hate the situation. I hate not knowing how long he'll be gone. And no, I don't want him to go. I want a magic wand that will make him earn just as much money here, but also have him only work normal business hours.

I do have to be careful though, because in situations like this, I have a tendency to sort of take things out on J, when this isn't really his fault. I do understand that he has asked to stay at other times that were really important, and that honestly, he probably can't beg off work and expect to keep his job. I understand that in this economy, we have to be a little more flexible about the situation, and be thankful that he has a job in the first place. I understand that some of our close friends have much more difficult situations, and see each other much less frequently than we do, and that we should be thankful that this is the biggest of our worries.

But I don't like it, and it's lame.

1 comment:

  1. I know this problem all too well. It's hard to be supportive when the situation sucks, but it seems like you are trying (and succeeding) to find the good in it. That it the hardest part for me sometimes! My best advice is to enjoy your time that you DO have together. Remember that this situation, though it does suck, is not forever. Make yourself a countdown and plan something fun for when he gets back. It will give you something to look forward to, and help turn it into a positive situation :)

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