Friday, May 8, 2009


So, there's a volunteer here at work whose husband recently died. When she began volunteering, her husband was in hospice, and she absolutely didn't want to talk about him. She was completely disconnected. I should also mention that she's been in the office maybe twice for a total of maybe two hours. She's one of over 100 volunteers.

We recently heard through the grapevine that he passed away, with his memorial service being today. She sent us the information about when the memorial service would be held and said that anyone in the office was welcome to attend. One of the staff members took a boquet and a card to her house yesterday, and told her that we're sorry for her loss, that none of the staff would be able to attend the service, but that we're thinking of her and her family and wanted to send our condolences.

She was apparently IRATE that no one is planning to come to the service...and I just find this so weird. To me, funerals or memorial services are for close family and friends--why would you want someone who you barely know, and who your husband didn't know AT ALL to be at the funeral? When the co-worker explained that many of us have meetings and such during the afternoon, the lady demanded to know why we wouldn't be able to come to her house afterwards for the food. So now, our boss thinks that someone should go. I'd probably be one of the two that would go, since I did work with her on one of the hour occassions, but I'm already off this afternoon. And for me, it's just odd. It just feels like she wants to make sure there are lots of people there. Honestly, I asked about her husband on more than one occasion, and she literally wouldn't talk about him. I don't even know his first name! Besides, I really don't do memorial services well, and typically don't attend unless it's a very close friend or family member. Maybe that's selfish, but that's just how I am. I really don't think I'll attend--it's just weird.


  1. I could see everyone in your office signing a card- but going to the funeral? That's a little weird for her to expect people to want to come, especially if you aren't close with her and don't even know her husband's name.

  2. I completely agree with you on this one. That is strange to me that she would be that mad about people he didn't even know. I can understand if you did go just for support but not that you have to. I think it's quite rude.

  3. Agreed - weird. But, grief can do some crazy things... I'd bet than in a month or two, she'll regret her reaction to the situation.

  4. Bizarre. But I see very little rationality in my daily interactions at work, so not really surprising.

  5. It seems a little strange.

    It's customary for coworkers and friends to go to the visitation around my neck of the woods, but not hte funeral

  6. How sad, they probably didn't have any close friends or family. Very sad!

  7. i can't find your email address, but shoot me an email and i'll tell you all about the bridal portraits that you saw on my blog.


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